Thoughts from Texas T-Roc

From the man who once said, "Hitler ruined that mustache for everyone," I proudly present another Thomas 'Texas T-Roc, Billy, Billy bin Laden' March classic;


Thomas: Have you ever thought about what it would be like if cockroaches could build webs?

Hudson and I (laughing): No.

Thomas: It would suck.

For the record ...

... the MLB All-Star game is bogus.

Quote of the Week

I found a fantastic quote I must post to honor to its greatness. Also, I'd like to make this a weekly segment, but that desire requires I continue to update this blog regularly. We'll see how that goes. And after that banter, I present the Quote of the Week for the week of July 2, 2007:

"We could have had Jesus on the mound and they still would have gotten hits," said Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca, reflecting on the Rockies 20 hit, 17-7 drubbing of New York.

(Read the NYM v. COL game recap here.)

An American Returns the Glory

In an amazing piece of symmetry, an American has reclaimed one of the most heralded prizes in international competition on Independence Day. (Cue patriotic music.)

In a display of ability, determination and indigestion, Joey Chestnut dethroned Takeru Kobayashi as the world's hot dog eating champion.

Is there anything more American than consuming 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes and being rewarded for it? Its glutenous, wasteful and downright patriotic.

And not only did Chestnut defeat the competitive eating master known as Kobayashi, they both broke the world record (previously 59.5) in a finish that required a video replay (I kid you not).

This is the equivalent of the Lakers playing the Lebrons and Kobe Bryant and King James each throwing down 120 points apiece! (Well, its not quite the same, but close, and you get the picture.)

Think about it. Sixty six hot dogs. Twelve minutes. That's about a hot dog every 10 seconds! Its simply amazing and disgusting at the same.

I was proud to be an American this July 4th.

(Read about Chestnut's Wilt Chamberlain like eating performance here.)

Golf Kartin'

Two quick comments;

1) I played golf with Jess today. It didn't really go too terribly well or bad, just bleh enough to keep me going and wishing I would play better. As soon as I start playing well - just at or below bogey golf - I tend to blow up with a seven on a hole or two in a row. I hate this game.

2) I spent my first evening ever in the PTC (Peachtree City for you non-suburban folk) and the thousands of golf karts startled me. I've always heard about the immense number of karts in PTC, but damn! It was ridiculous! White folks rolling about every which way in golf karts decorated for the Fourth.

I think I'm golf-karted out for a minute.

whudafxup

This shall remain brief.

As I am watching TV with Val and Jess just now, I see another truth ad and this may simply be the most offensive thing I have ever seen on television. The one linked into this blog is not the exact commercial, but the "whudafxup" displayed at the end of the commercial was the exact same.

whudafxup.

Anyone with any sense and knowledge of the word, "fuck," including most anyone older than 12, can make out what this says ... What the fuck's up?

Are you kidding me? This was allowed on television.

If this had been any semi-controversial show or promotion, it would be banned with the quickness. But, because this is an anti-smoking commercial, it flies.

I cry shenanigans.

People cried like hell when South Park used the word, "shit," and lampooned Steve Irwin's death, but when an anti-smoking group blatantly, yet somewhat cleverly, use the word, "fuck," it does unquestioned.

I have very few issues with the use of expletives in common conversation, even in television and film. But, it seems rather hypocritical to tolerate this oh-not-so-cryptic use of, "fuck," when this is the same culture that panicked like the Nipplegate wardrobe malfunction was the Black Tuesday stock market crash all over again.

Best Online Argument in Weeks ...

My friend just gave me the AOL ‘hang up,’ as she signed off mid conversation. All I did was try to explain why some people choose not to align themselves with feminists, a word with a dirty connotation, yet can still support civil rights and equality.

Now, I present to you, a conversation gone bad …


chilidonkey: you dirty feminazi
Anonymous: no
Anonymous: like
Anonymous: when people say they aren’t feminists
Anonymous: i am amazed
chilidonkey: why, dont play that game
Anonymous: i'm like "oh, so you dont think men and women are equal"
chilidonkey: thats not just it and you know it
Anonymous: and they're like "well, of course i do"
Anonymous: and i'm like "ok, you're a feminist."
Anonymous: i dont know why its a dirty word
Anonymous: its stupid
chilidonkey: there is a negative connotation that goes along with feminism, as well as a degree of political activeness and social consciousness
Anonymous: yeah and i dont know why
chilidonkey: you can agree with equality, but no be politically active
chilidonkey: *not
Anonymous: yeah
Anonymous: you can be a feminist and not be politically active
chilidonkey: and in that regard, youre not a feminist
chilidonkey: i disagree
Anonymous: but i am politically active
chilidonkey: and, feminists hold the bogus idea that idea of men and women being different is that of a social construction ... which is friggin retarded. there certainly are biological differences
chilidonkey: also, as a whole, feminists are pro-choice, but a woman can choose to believe in equality and pro-life, and would therefore not want to align herself with feminists
Anonymous: read this
Anonymous:
FEMINISM
We get so mad when some nitwit says she’s not a feminist. I guess if you’re cool with being raped all the time and having no options in life other than being a baby machine or a prostitute, then yeah, you’re probably not a feminist. But if you enjoy birth-control pills and not being beaten up by your owner—I mean, husband—then you pretty much are one so you may as well stop shaving your legs right now. Just kidding. Somewhere along the way feminism got a bad rep, but it doesn’t mean you have to be a sourpuss or that you can’t write tongue-in-cheek articles riddled with silly gender stereotypes. All it means is that you don’t hate yourself.
Anonymous: feminism is about choice
chilidonkey: that is not what feminism means
chilidonkey: lol
Anonymous: and if you choose to not have abortions
Anonymous: then you are a feminist
Anonymous: who are you to define it?
Anonymous: and yes that is what feminism is about
Anonymous: feminism is not a dirty word
chilidonkey: because i dont have a vagina i cant pass judgment? and not to mention, some radical feminists believe the world should have dramatically fewer men
chilidonkey: thats a swell, real equal notion
Anonymous: some libertarians think we should abolish UNICEF
chilidonkey: yeah, it wastes money
chilidonkey: lol
chilidonkey: but so does our government and countless other organizations
Anonymous:: i'm done
Anonymous: you're too closed minded
chilidonkey: unicef is low on my hate list
chilidonkey: im just saying
Anonymous: no i cant talk to you about feminism
chilidonkey: feminism is considered a dirty word for no good reason, but if you choose to not align yourself with the word because of the negative connotations and such, it doesnt mean you condone rape
Anonymous: yes it does
chilidonkey: thats being close minded
chilidonkey: omg
Anonymous: if you dont want to align yourself with feminism
Anonymous: then you are an anti-feminist
Anonymous: which is a movement
Anonymous: but those girls need to just own up to it
Anonymous: and say "i'm an anti-feminist"
Anonymous: not "i'm not a feminist because i dont want boys to think im' a lesbo"
Anonymous: what girl doesnt align herself with feminism? i'll talk some sense into her
chilidonkey: okay, im an anti-feminist, but i believe in civil liberties and equality, happy
Anonymous: no i'm not
Anonymous: that's disgusting
chilidonkey: why, i dont believe there should be less men in the world
Anonymous: 1) that comment makes you look really stupid
chilidonkey: so i cant align myself with radical fems
Anonymous: because civil liberties and equality is what the movement is based on
Anonymous: 2) it makes you look like a bigot
Anonymous: and 3) i'm not down with stupid bigots
Anonymous: peace
chilidonkey: i have no issue with liberal feminism, thats what i just said essentially
Anonymous signed off at 9:42:43 AM.

Damn (The Braves and ZB) ...

... the Braves got dropped in ruthless fashion tonight. Miguel Olivo officially owns Braves’ closer Bob Wickman ... same pitch, same swing, same sour befuddled look on Wickman's face and the ball flew over the wall in the same place. Back-to-back two-night ownage by Olivo.

In unrelated news, ZB, a very cute young lady who lives down the street who I have hung out with a few times in recent days gave me a hard time earlier tonight for not finding a few lines written about her in this here blog. So, with not further delay, a quick rant on Elizabeth ...

We met a party a few months back; I thought she was cute, while she thought I was young. We bumped heads a few times thereafter, but we started hanging out recently after I ran into her in a most embarrassing manor, which I'm sure she doesn't want me tossing to the wind.

We hung out a few times recently, and with a some beverages consumed, acted like fools on a few occasions ... that is, until she played the, 'We're too different," card, like an over-zealous soccer ref. Then I told her it was no big deal, and she said, "See. This reinforces my point."

What? Was I supposed to do? Act hurt by a woman I barely knew and cry in the fetal position on why I so badly want a girl I barely know beyond sharing beers in classy joints like Mr. C’s; "Noooo. Please come back. Won't you have my babies!?!?!"

Oh, women. Can't live with 'em, can't ... blah, blah, blah whatever. They're retarded at times, but damn I love them and the chase. And when you're with a cool one you can have a good time with, life is spectacular ... but they still drive me crazy even in the best moments.

But, back on track, ZB is an incredibly intelligent, beautiful, talented and charming woman, when she isn't reinforcing the point that she is better than you. She's kind of the hipster/emo/'riot grrl' type (okay, I really still don't know what this means to the T, but my friend Ash from Jersey said it and I like it, and while I don't know if ZB is the feminist type, we're going to roll with it … and that was the worst description of her ever), which is awesome in my book. It's too bad she's bailing’ on me already, but, as stated before, no big deal, and also, her loss (cause I'm that awesome bia). Plus, I still have Caitlin to get to know, just started talking to Jess again and always have Melissa to drive me insane. (Read about ZB's awesome life, because it's better than yours and she is lame like me and has a blog. And notice, where is the entry about Mr. Simmons?)

I really need to pass out as I'm working 7 till 7 tomorrow. Holla!

I hate Billy Knight

Well so much for brevity, because I have a feeling this is going to be a lengthy rant …

I hate Billy Knight.

At this point, I believe the hate I share with many fellow Hawks fans (yes, a few still survive) is akin to Detroit Lions’ fans loathing Matt Millen. And for good reason, as Knight and Millen seem to share a similar predisposed infatuation with rangy quick athletes. For Millen, he can’t resist a strong, quick wideout with height. In Knight’s case, the Hawks’ GM can’t say no to a 6’8’’/6’9’’ forward with length.

This year’s edition of, ‘Who Is The Hawks Latest Forward,’ brought us Al Horford, a 6’9’’ power forward who could barely score at the college level on a team so stacked, he was rarely double teamed. At least he can rebound, right? Or didn’t we say the same about 'The Slumlord' Sheldon Williams last year?

Frankly, I think this was a wasted pick.

Of course the Hawks needed a legitimate post presence to balance the team on both the offensive and defensive ends of the court. However, in my opinion, Horford’s best-case-NBA projection is that of a 15 and nine guy at his best, with perhaps an All-Star appearance or two. And while the Hawks certainly can use this type of player, isn’t the third overall pick reserved for someone who’s upside is that of a numerous time All-Star? The type of upside very few prognosticators believe Horford has. But, he is ready to play in the NBA right now, some say. Some hear this and think, ‘instant production,’ while I hear, ‘Already reached his potential.’

Maybe I’m being too tough on the guy. Then again, I preferred Acie Law IV (thank god we at least got one pick right) to Mike Conley Jr., but would have preferred the Hawks selected Conley or Yi Jianlan, the 7-foot tall Chinese power forward, over Horford with the third pick because those players have greater potential to be superstars and still fit the Hawks’ needs. I would have rather given this year’s pick to Phoenix so that we could have next year’s first round pick instead of Horford’s Sheldon Williams-like game.

But this is not solely Billy’s fault. The Hawks’ ownership, including one Steve Belkin, is more to blame than anyone else. Had the collective group of owners not been so frugal (aka cheap asses) and placed a clause in their agreement calling for a collective vote on any trade or signing putting the team over the salary cap requiring only one nay to veto, the Hawks would likely have traded for 24-year old All-Star Amare Stoudamire in return for their 2007 third and 11th draft picks. Specifically, Belkin is most responsible for reportedly being the dickhole who vetoed the Amare deal. And honestly, I don’t think he vetoed it because he thought the trade would hurt the franchise. I think he did just to zing the other member’s of the ownership in the continuing slap fight over the rights to own the Hawks and Thrashers. (Read about the Hawks' ownership disfunction here!)

Yep. This is what it is like to be a Hawks fan these days.

And, off the subject, what should the over/under be on Big Macs consumed by Eddie Curry and the newly acquired Zach Randolph of the New York Knicks be for one season? 100 or 200? Because I really think 250 between the two of them in one year is a real possibility.

In my next post, look for brief thoughts on the Chris Benoit horror and for 2007 NBA Draft conspiracy theories.

Whoops!

Well, it appears I have my second strike in reference to continuously updating this blog. I suppose I'll do my darnedest from here on out to keep the activity alive. Perhaps shorter, non-Bill Simmons-length blogs may be in order.

If I get a third strike I'm deleting this. Hopefully, I'll even update this mother tonight ... here's to me not being lame (yeah, right).